she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
