Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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