So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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