I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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