The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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