i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
