At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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