Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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