Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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