I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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