Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"