ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?