Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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