We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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