I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
