You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.