Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.