No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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