it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
