i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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