Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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