allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
