It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So squirting runs in the family.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
