did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
