My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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