my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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