brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
