just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
