***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
