is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.