Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.