My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.