he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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