Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
