I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize