so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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