**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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