i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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