And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
