you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I have tasted many bathrooms
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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