He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
