No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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