how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
