if you like me you must not know who I am
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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