oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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