he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
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To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
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he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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