I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I don't deserve a penis
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
