I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
