you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
