hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
