So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
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Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
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My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
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