No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
