exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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