No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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