That's when you crack a 10am beer
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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