I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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